Honoured in a Studio

It came like a bolt from the blue

I had won some recognition for something related to my humble profession and had been busy ever since, attending felicitations and parties. 

Typical of me, I took life post this recognition very serious and was upset why BBC and CNN were not aware of this. I also wondered if these big media names were nowadays covering only wars and earthquakes. 

Whatever, the earth moved under me when I got this call from that famous News Channel to be present in the studio as part of a panel of eminent people for a discussion.  In my excited state of mind, i didn't care to ask what the discussion was about and merrily presumed it must all be about  my achievements.

That single call from the media PRO  practically transformed my house into a supermarket – we (thanks to my enterprising wife) purchased three different colours of suits – willing to suffer a large debt on all credit cards as bargain for better looks on the idiot box.  In the excitement that followed, we practically informed everyone we thought we knew, about my  panel appearance and some of my good friends went overboard to say the panelists included some big names in sports and politics (who had long back died). It was ok – we were reacting like normal human beings.

The hour arrived – i went to the studio, seated in a very uncomfortable chair under the terrible glare of arc lights and cameras. The anchor was a famous senior editor, known for her extraordinary abilities to grill people on their misdeeds and at the same time being a terrific opinion maker. Well that didn’t matter, I thought, because I was to be asked about how on earth I managed to get that recognition.

This is how it went…

The She: Welcome to the Studios Mr GM, we are really pleased to have such eminent people like you in today’s panel discussion.

Me: Thank You Madam

(the amateur in me didn’t know that I can address everyone by name, even say ‘hey’, ‘hi’ and should not rush to thank. (I almost thanked even before she started welcoming me) I was thawed beyond my ability to hold flattery. I thought good deeds, like bad ones also spread fast like wild-fire these days. I thought it was a practice among media men not to directly touch upon individual events of achievement and allude to it during introductions. Whatever, this was a moment I had waited all my life)

After a few more introductory notes about the people in the panel, it was a direct attack on me.

The She: Coming to the issue, Mr A recently said it is politically incorrect but patriotically correct. It is also economically less correct, while morally and technically neither correct nor incorrect. He is entitled to his opinion and in a way he is candid and balanced as usual. His other important point that fasting cannot solve food inflation merits discussion. What do you have to say about this? Is it acceptable that such an important issue like this gets blurred by indifference and jingoistic considerations. Which is pretty much the state of our national debate even now. There is no way one can be expected to be a centrist. You may, for example, personally agree with a lot of issues and generally lean that way. That doesn't mean there aren't issues where others are not pro-government. Unfortunately, the common man cannot understand all this and one could always be mistaken for being a conservative while he or she is still a liberal. If you were allowed to have your way, what would you do under these conditions and if the aam-aadmi and the junta of the nation thought it fit to support, how would you react. Do you think it is possible within the framework of our legal system? What do you have to say… am sorry you will have to quickly respond..

Me: Well, Possibly…

The She: Well Mr GM thinks it is possible and that throws open another new angle to this whole drama that has been troubling the nation for the last 9 months.

( I was first, totally paralyzed by this intimidatingly serpentine and vague question and second, I had intended to ask her to explain me what was the discussion about. She must have heard no more than the first two syllables of my reply and took over the role of my editor impromptu. She not only cut me short in my explanation but just demolished my confidence. I had come here with the hope of receiving some felicitations and bouquets but I started feeling like a wrongly accused. And to hear that I was expected to provide a solution to a 9-month long raging issue was a travesty I thought.)

The She continued.. The nation has seen the worst of this. We don’t know where is the origin of these issues. Even if we managed to identify and then attribute….. (another 2 full minutes that ended with a stern request to respond as quickly and briefly as possible..)

I was shattered. I thought how could anyone respond to such a difficult array of questions in one sentence. And why were the questions many times longer than the question. Was the anchor falling in love with her own voice. Or was i so  gullible that i became an easy prey for their funtime mistaken as our prime time...

On the way back, I seriously wished I was not shown among the panelists and I could say that I was stuck in a traffic and missed the opportunity. The time I took to wear the coat was longer than the time I got to speak. I should have thrown the hand-mike in protest but then that was risking myself to be mistaken for someone from the elected ones.

Life is like that, I concluded

imaginatively yours...

ps: Dedicated to all the panelists that suffer in the studios trying to respond to a long question with allotted time as long as 0ne-hundredth of the time taken by the media person.