One disadvantage of being a grey haired, introverted expat is that people give undue credit to me of being a reliable spokesperson of the country I represent and want to share with me all their impressions of my country. And expect me to clarify all their doubts.
My poor communication skills have aggravated my miseries: I have failed to drive home the point that the last good hindi movie I remember having seen was Sholay and that the worli-bandra link is not a monument but a bridge on a sea jocularly called sea-link, that Delhi is the political capital and not the fountain-head of corruption (as corruption is like God: omnipotent and omnipresent). To think that only south indians were behind and north indians were infront (of) bars is a myth and incorrect, that Suresh Kalmadi is not Suresh Kalam Adi and therefore not related to a towering south indian legend called Abdul Kalam (who would rank as one of our greatest statesmen). And that the Kalmadi is also serving humanity by living behind bars, thus exploding the myth of a bigoted north-south divide in an otherwise peace and panel-discussion loving country, is all that i keep averring.
My poor communication skills have aggravated my miseries: I have failed to drive home the point that the last good hindi movie I remember having seen was Sholay and that the worli-bandra link is not a monument but a bridge on a sea jocularly called sea-link, that Delhi is the political capital and not the fountain-head of corruption (as corruption is like God: omnipotent and omnipresent). To think that only south indians were behind and north indians were infront (of) bars is a myth and incorrect, that Suresh Kalmadi is not Suresh Kalam Adi and therefore not related to a towering south indian legend called Abdul Kalam (who would rank as one of our greatest statesmen). And that the Kalmadi is also serving humanity by living behind bars, thus exploding the myth of a bigoted north-south divide in an otherwise peace and panel-discussion loving country, is all that i keep averring.
Not willing to accept (and recognise) my limitations people still expect me to know why Barkha Dutt was again so paranoid and profound (how could both happen?) last night while discussing ‘sluttery’ in prime time, why news channel these days have a panel discussion on everything (someone asked me if I saw that program where four eminent people (a nuclear scientist, a senior banker, a party president and a senior sportsman) discussed over two days if it was morally correct to throw a beer can on the road, and I said “unfortunately no”). The list of such ‘whys’ is so long that I am wondering if I can develop an algo that reduces these mysteries into a non-linear functional dissymmetry and circulate them as a questionnaire (when I actually said that, the crowd got so confused that I instantly realized ‘if I can’t convince, I should always confuse’).
Coming to the more important issue of holding a brief for my homeland, someone asked me how could one individual or a very few of them jointly and severally swindle many billions by circumventing and subverting processes and policies, why does it take so long to find out that act, can a minister singularly do such wonders like violating rules and collecting huge monies in ‘another’ account. If yes to all these, can an impossible irrigation minister issue orders to link all the rivers, an impossible HR minister mandate compulsory schooling for the whole country, a rational defence minister order compulsory service in the military atleast for 6 months in a life time….
The questions were too thrilling to ignore. I rushed home to see what “utopia” actually meant and whether it was a literary expression or merely a mythological description.
Some questions never have answers.
The questions were too thrilling to ignore. I rushed home to see what “utopia” actually meant and whether it was a literary expression or merely a mythological description.
Some questions never have answers.
