Spot Fixing - It's Different

A few of us, like-minded patriotic ex-cricketers,  have decided to keep our  conscience aside and to start indulging in spot fixing. 

This is not just to fill our impossible-to-fill coffers but also revolutionize the very concept of fixing.  In this exercise, we will take outside support from Gods  and also harass ex-freedom fighters and soldiers who never rose to senior positions but rather spent all their lives on our borders. And some of us are also thinking of approaching retired civil servants who have retired in sheer frustration. 

While the think-tank of this brigade of fixers is chalking out details and strategies to identify weak cricketers and the tournaments to target, some consensus exists ab-initio.  Once the complete agenda and strategy is agreed, the PRO shall make it public. 

In my capacity as a honorary-stooge, unable to keep things secret, i want to provide a sneak-preview of the agenda that lies ahead.  However, we all have decided that the prime objective is to be transparent. 

The final agenda is likely to be broadly on  following lines:

• The identified bowler (yes there was consensus not to approach any batsman in line with global good governance) will have to take atleast 4 to 5 wickets in the fixed over.  If we get sufficient funding support, 7 to 8 wickets will also be thought of.
• The identified bowler will not give any signs or indications to the bookies or we patriotic-fixers about his intention to 'activate' the agreement. It will happen naturally, in the second over. Always.
• An identified fielder will have to make 5 runouts or 3 catches and 4 runouts. 
• If we are successful in getting the wicketkeeper to accept the 'donation', he will have to stump 4 batsmen and catch another 4,  in return. (interestingly enough one of the think-tank members suggested if the keeper stands-up and loses his teeth and eyesight trying to achieve his goal, we should beg the fixers to get him his pension - good suggestion)
• No use of mobile phone or anything starting with 'i' - this instruction applies 6 months before the start of the tourney and extends to 174 days after (the president said 174 is his lucky number - hence that choice)
• Last but not least, no transaction will happen in currencies or over bank accounts. It will all be in bit-coins. It was my suggestion in view of my expertise and a financial-market background that spanned even other planets.

am sorry.  

i just got a call from the President of our brigade asking me if we have any restriction in taking membership to this most corrupt syndicate.  i said 'i have done nothing wrong, will not give a direct reply immediately'.  

he also asked me if i can appear in  one of the prime channels that is already aware of this new syndicate that is out to destroy the economic value of c-commerce. I suggested we need to change the bye-laws (he liked my bad english)

The Sound of Silence

Very rarely i take leave. The only  time i have taken leave every year is when i have to perform my Dad's annual ceremony if it falls on a working day. 

Otherwise it will be the annual vacation with family - a strong believer in the values of cutting away from routine work. It also helps the organisation to ensure everything is fine in my work area.

In the nearly-three years here in Mauritius, i have practically taken no leave. Except for a few vacations to Wild Africa, French Colonies etc. To take leave and be just wool-gathering is a great moment. Of course i have some tax-related errands but largely i am doing nothing but enjoying the sound of silence. 

Frost's "The dark nowhere of the woods, the seen and heard movement of things, and the lullaby of inner speech are an invitation to sleep.." is relived. To be sitting engulfed by the serenity of emptiness in a small garden area is mind's blissful state. Sometimes i get impatient anticipating a bird's chirp or a ruffle of feathers or dry leaves. The sound of nothingness is palpable.

A year ago when i had decided to join an SWF (i am a lousy employer-ditcher so stuck), one of the first attractions was the concession of working from a home environment. Will still get to do that one day, i am sure.

I am a slave of good music.. i love the sound of silence especially.

Rural Posting

This is from my diary - life and times in rural India for a city-bred pseudo.

One of my first postings when i joined the State Bank was to a rural place - in Karnataka. Since i was presumably quite young, i was accompanied by a retired Sub-Inspector of Police, a family friend, who wanted to leave me in some safe hands as i began my career

It was a nice small village - some 80 houses and a population of around 300, 90% illiterate and the remaining politicians. There were three buses to this village each day from the district headquarters - some 20 kilometers away. The road was muddy for the entire stretch and i used to imagine the reason why there were only three buses per day -  the dusty smoke that a bus left as it passed on this road must have lasted for 5-6 hours for the next bus to gain visibility

It was a dry village, surrounded by rocky hillocks and barren lands. Apart from my bank, the next largest commercial activity was centered on arrack sale. There was a primary school where children took refuge to avoid rains or the tantrums of a drunken dad. Nearly 99% of the employable adults were unemployed and their main occupation was to take loans from the Bank, aided and abetted by a local aspiring MLA. Life was fun

The infrastructure was hilarious.  We would get power supply for a few hours during the day and for the rest of my working life, it was candle-light.  Maybe because of this, i hated candle-lit dinners ever after. Water was available from a few wells in the village - as a bank manager, it was a priority for the villagers to supply water twice a day in brass pots. People said drinking water from the well resulted in Polio, so i would avoid water.  

                     There was one small tea-shop that doubled as an (spurious) arrack shop in the dark. Every dignitary to the branch was treated to a hot glass of tea and Parle biscuits. It took me a few months to realise that Parle had its manufacturing facility in every village of the country.  Thrice a week the postman visited the village - he was as important as me as people expected him to get money-orders from the Government, as promised by the minister who visited some years ago. Two telephones linked this paradise on earth to the outer world- and both lines were almost always out of order

Each day when i walked into the branch from my house - which was one of the few solid concrete structures among those 80 houses and belonged to the village landlord who never allowed any manager to stay anywhere except his house - i would see dozens of people waiting outside the bank for me to open the doors. Initially i mistook them for the sincere savers who preferred their bank account to the expenses at the arrack shop. But they were all waiting with the same request - loan for purchasing cattle, growing crops, marrying children, constructing roof to their houses.  I also saw from records we had in the past given 'crop-loans' to landless laborers!!!

The people were poor, deprived and less-empowered. But they were wonderfully kind and innocent. Far less deceitful and self-centered like the city comrade. 

I could never understand why we opened a bank branch in such a place. It just required 3 months to give a loan to every eligible person in the village and for the next many years the manager's job was to chase for recovery.  But that is socialism. Banks are expected to take care of the financial linkages for economic activity and it is the duty of the leaders and educated citizens to have a continuum in that cycle. The missing part is the existence of the latter. We only have politicians but not leaders. Nationalisation is a great policy but it has been a failed experiment in emerging economies. 

My experience here will be like a scar in a body.  Initially painful but just a mark later. Everytime one looks at a scar, would recollect what caused that  but would feel  no pain when reminiscing. 

My final over

Before  it is mistaken to be some kind of end-note, let me clarify that this is what happened in what i consider the last over that i bowled in a competitive match of cricket.

This must have been late Nineties. Was asked to play for a visiting Srilankan cricket team, that boasted of some great stalwarts of the Eighties. I dont know why, i have always rated the Srilankan cricket team very highly, always. They are the West Indies of Asia, always capable of producing terrific talent year after year.

I had given up playing competitive cricket many years ago but still was fit enough to play a match. So i liked the offer to play for my employer's country. I was asked to bowl quite late in the 40 overs-a-side match. And the man at the crease was this mercurial, brash, arrogant, very talented right handed bat who should have played far more tests than he actually did. Like most other TN talent, he also used his tongue more than the bat. And withered on the vine.

The first ball was a good length sharp off-cutter that pitched fairly outside the off-stump and hit him on the pad. More than the batsman, I was shocked. Second one was a wide - excited me trying to bowl like Dennis Lillee. Third one was again a good ball - the class that he is, he respected the delivery and ignored the bowler. So three deliveries, two legitimate, only one run so far and 'just' four to go.

The third delivery was (i thought) a good length ball - even before i looked up after completing my Jeff Thomson like action, the ball was gone beyond the mid wicket fence. The umpire irritated me by holding his hands above his head far too long. I trudged to my bowling mark wondering if i should bowl a fast yorker (but what if he treats it like a spin and damages the sight screen behind me?). So i bowled a yorker length that should have crushed his toe if i had the speed of Malcolm Marshall and the accuracy of Malinga...  And my fears came true. Straight six that landed on the roof of Chepauk

The wicket keeper walked to me and said i should not bowl full length. And removed the slip and added another fielder in the deep.

Delivery number 5. I prayed all known Gods and even offered to walk barefoot a particular distance if he got out - even run out was ok.  I remembered the first delivery i bowled - a sharp off cutter. So, i gripped the ball across the seam and did exactly that - but never thought the batsman would walk down the pitch and take it at half-volley and smash over extra cover. 19 runs so far and one delivery to go.

Wicket keeper again to me 'cool cool machan, don't be in a hurry'. I decided to bowl him as fast i could and wanted to hit the seam on the turf. Was not sure if my bouncer would be a long hop for him..  i ran madly towards the bowling crease and bowled a perfect full toss that would have beheaded a sand-statue. He just moved towards the off-stump and sent the ball to the second tier stands in square leg. I almost cried, cursed all Gods and again prayed that this batsman should never ever play for India. 25 runs in that over. And not a single fielder moved from his  place in that over. The markers retrieved the ball and threw it at me.

 I tried to think of so many excuses but it all ended when the captain walked up to me and said "machchan, you should have told me that you don't bowl'

It was not out of any resolve that i have not played cricket after that - it just happened, naturally

Moviesphere

After a long time, took some time to watch a movie. Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, directed by 'Wake up Sid' fame Ayan Mukherjee.

The way the movie opened to an item number from Madhuri Dixit (you too Madhuri?), i thought it was a sad day for me. And next,  the way the story line proceeded, i thought it would be another visual treat like Zindagi Na Milegi Doobara. It was not to be the case either. It was like seeing both Hussey and Raina out first ball in the first over.

A very thin story-line, some terse dialogues, jarring music largely due to the re-recording portion (Pritam, you disappointed me) and some brilliant acting by (my favorite) Deepika and Ranbir is how i see the nearly 3 hour drama. Farooq Sheikh and Kunal have done really well. The chemistry between D and R is absolutely touching.

What was really memorable for the three of us that watched the movie was that a large portion of second half was shot in a place (possibly the same room) where we spent our vacation recently. The proverbial big-fat Indian wedding was visually boring though.  If only cinematography was as creative as seen in ZNMD, this could have served to showcase the beauty of Udaipur, as Spain was done in the other movie.

The Gardener

The first thought that comes to mind when someone thinks of a garden is Greenery. And of gardener, a mercurial visionary who champions the green-movement.

Gardeners are fanatically popular for turning every bit of visible surface of earth into greenery and adorning it with a multitude of colors that are floral in nature.

Have you seen a gardener who fiercely believes that gardens should be clay-courts, trees should not have leaves, plants should not grow for more that a few weeks, flowers are harmful to eyes and mind, grass should grow under the soil and not above, greenery is a myth and brown-stain is reality? Obviously not.

A close friend of mine invited me for a game of tennis and said it will be played in his lawns. Curious to know how he had a house with a lawn-court, i went to his home and  was dismayed when he showed how his grass-court has become a clay-court. Couldn't help wondering if the French Open (and not Wimbledon) was the inspiration

IPL and WWF

The multi-billion dollar industry that is cricket and more specifically IPL Cricket  is possibly on the verge of closure.  

We have heard of insolvencies and closures of companies and people - but not an industry. Even the oldest profession still has its patronage inspite of stringent laws to ban it.

I had decided not to write or comment on the recent umbrageous developments under the brand-name of spot-fixing but the sheer ridiculousness of a some related events makes me move out of that exceptional indifferent herd of people who are hardly affected by anything on earth.

Firstly, the media is hell-bent upon ousting the BCCI President. No personal opinion if this is a right clamor. I would believe, the best thing is to allow him to be in office and embarrass him if proven guilty. The task of proving him guilty is the challenge - i guess people don't want to take that challenge and instead believe that his ouster is a symbolic triumph. Absolutely nonsense

Secondly, to believe only three cricketers were involved in a roughly 150 strong contingent of players and an equal number of support and managerial staff is a brazen underestimation of the power of the 'fixers' - and begs the question if victimization is a policy across all walks of life. Some media reports say the international dancer-bowler was dropped consistently as there was some suspicion on his activities - whither whistle blowing policy. In any accident, it is the weakest that pays the price.

Thirdly, and somewhat more important than the ouster of BCCI President is, the spectators that watched those matches that are considered fixed should be refunded the match fees. And immediately.   Unless the IPL framework suggests IPL is just like WWF where the contests are farce, the spectator that watched the IPL match is considered hurt and cheated. Request all those people still in possession of the counterfoils of entrance-tickets to examine if there is anything in the finest print which suggests the holder of the ticket is allowed to watch an event that is a mock display of sportsmanship and tussle.

Fourthly, is there a way that we introduce a total ban on Trial by Media.  Who wants to watch those terrible and audacious questioning of a Kapil Dev or Chetan Chauhan by a suited-moderator who uses his freedom to question as a license to intimidate. I would love to name some of the comedians here but i wouldn't commit an impropriety that is a preserve of those moderators.

Finally, on the issue of betting. The model and template that should be considered while taking a decision on whether betting should be legalized or not is the one on Prohibition - it has never been possible to abolish drinking by imposing Prohibition. It has only enabled forced dis-sale of liquor.  What is important - preventing the vice called drinking or the banning the commercial malaise called liquor-sale.

The wise man has been away for some time now - he will be back soon. So this blogspace will see more literature :)